Hi Jen
How are you?
< Mark 3
Dear Mark,
I'm not good. I'm actually quite bad. I'm crying right now and you don't know that. I do this a lot lately. The weekends have become my favorites. Everything feels alright on the weekends. You seem to love me on the weekends. I'm sorry I've been annoying lately. I promise I'll stop. I swear. I'm sorry it took me so long to give you a "pet" name. And I hardly ever call you by it. I'm sorry I don't call you on the phone a lot. And when I do, I'm sorry I don't talk much. I'm sorry I call myself fat, though we both know you could do so much better. I'm so sorry I have `I HATE YOU` carved into my leg when I promised I wouldn't cut. I used a real razor blade and everything. And I'm thinking about re-doing it tonight. I'm sorry I listen to emo and you hate it. I'm sorry I can't be your dream goth girl. I'm sorry I get jealous when I see you talk to other girls. I'll try not to show it. I'm sorry I'm so quiet. I decided today I wish I was more like your friend Rachel. Then you really wouldn't let me go. I'm sorry it hurts everytime you say those beautiful words. You should know the odds are against us. What is "teen love" mean anyway? I'm sorry that during the school day you sometimes give me looks like you don't want me around. I'm sorry you don't get excited to see me anymore. Maybe I should hide from now on. I'm sorry I'm sitting here composing a list of sorries and feeling sorry for myself. I'm sorry that I hate me so much. I'm sorry that this will put me in a really bad mood and by tomorrow I should be huddled in the corner listening to Taking Back Sunday and you'll ask me what's wrong and I'll say nothing and you'll see right through that and ask me again. I know you hate that more than anything. I'm sorry I feel most comfortable in routine- the greatest demise to most couples.
Love always,
Jen